A little update.
I am 34 weeks pregnant today (cue applause!!). Yesterday I went into the hospital for a third time during this pregnancy, after three days of persistent contractions. And for the third time I was adamant that I did not need to go when the doctors office insisted that it was necessary. But, like the previous two times, I gave in and once again found myself on floor 2 at our local hospital. Fun times!
Here's why I don't like to go. I feel like if I'm just having uncomfortable contractions, no matter how frequent, I'm okay as long as he's okay...and I know in my heart that he's okay. (Like Kris Vallotton says, "Vision gives pain a purpose.") I can handle the discomfort as long as it means he's still hanging in there, and doing fine. And he always is. I know it's important to be monitored, but I also know I'm okay. I just know it.
Yesterday actually turned out great! That whole, "the third time's a charm," thing happened. It was still long, (a solid 5 1/2 hours), but it was different. Before I went in, I prayed like I always do. And then I took the elevator up to labor and delivery to once again rendezvous with that lovely gown that always greets me in a haphazard fashion, either laying on the bed or on the food tray (strange). And then I climbed into the bed that comes apart in about 17 different ways. Functionality beats comfort by a long shot in those beds. They're functional and that's it.
I decided against tv for about 5 hours of my visit. I just didn't want the noise of it. TV doesn't really matter so much to me anyway. I often times prefer quiet over the static of nothingness on tv. So, I grabbed my iPhone instead and went right to, where else, Facebook. Haha!
I found two great things on my news feed right away. And I think the Lord put them there on purpose. The first was a clip by Bill Johnson about staying in the rest of the Lord. It's about staying at peace no matter what comes your way. The Lord has been teaching me a lot about rest and boundaries during this pregnancy so I knew He was up to something when that clip caught my eye, and eventually my attention.
Here's the link if you want to watch : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvkE4PyVZrs&sns=em. It's a quick 9 minute watch with a lot of impact. You have 9 minutes, don't you? (No pressure!) :)
After that, I happened upon Bill Johnson's daughter singing a song called, Healer. Again, it felt like the Lord, so back to YouTube I went.
Another link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3aBhGu4ryg&sns=em
These are the lyrics:
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
As soon as the song started I turned it up all the way and put it on my belly for our baby to hear. (I know the song says the word, 'disease,' in it. I know we don't have a disease, but the song was so perfect nevertheless.) I cried during the bridge of the song. I felt like me and my baby were especially singing that part to Jesus. We really believe He holds our worlds in His hands.
As the song played I had moments of, "I hope this song isn't too loud, and I hope it's okay that I'm using my cell phone," but then I got over that, and just didn't care. I felt the presence of the Lord so strong in the hospital room that I thought any hospital worker would be so lucky to come in and feel the peace that had now taken over my room, my baby, our hearts and our spirits. It was pretty special. So then I moved right along to Jenn Johnson singing, "I Love Your Presence." One of my all-time worship songs. And then I just sat there, lingering in peace that felt so thick and tangible. Intoxicating. And I had contractions almost the whole time, but they were much less noticeable. Funny how that works. ;)
My friend, Nicole, came to see me for the last 40 minutes or so, and that was so sweet. We just sat and talked, and laughed, and moved from one half-conversation to the next, like we always do. Totally random and unpredictable. I love how we can go from one topic to the next, back to the first, into the third, finish the first, and then go somewhere else entirely. Good friends are good at that.
The doctor came in at the end and said that my preterm labor test was negative. (Great news!) She did go ahead and give me a shot of betamethasone though, to help strengthen the baby's lungs should he come early. (I had to go back for a second shot today. Ouch.) And then she said that the baby could come anytime after 35 weeks and be just fine. I told her that I didn't want to keep coming back to the hospital every time I start having more than 4 contractions in an hour. (That's their rule of thumb.) I said, "I feel like its pointless." She understood what I meant and told me that since this is my 4th baby my body just knows what to do, and so do I, so she gave me permission to only come back if I find myself in hard labor, like the kind you have right before delivery. Or if something major happens, (water breaks, bleeding, etc.) I was relieved. I was so tired of everyone panicking, (namely the folks at he doctors office).
The contractions I've been having are uncomfortable and persistent, but that's it. I'm 2cm dilated, (sorry men-folk), but that's it. So, as of now, I'm still having to take it easy, and rest as much as possible, and I'm trying to. It's been hard, but things are settling down now. I'm officially done Christmas shopping (hooray), and have no big engagements coming up, so I'm finding rest easier to come by now. Phew!
So, who knows when baby boy will come? He could come early, or he could come on time. Probably not late though. Time will tell. The only thing I'm sure of at this point is that the Lord has my world, and his, in His great big hands. That's enough for me.
This is our last baby, as far as I know, so I have determined to savor every last second of being pregnant. I love him more than my heart understands, just like I love my princesses, and I'd rather spend my time resting, loving on his life and destiny than worrying about the discomfort. It's not always easy, but it's the goal. He'll be here before we know it. What does he look like? Hmmm... Handsome for sure! Delicious and breathtaking, definitely. Completion to our family, absolutely.
Here are a few sweet quotes to leave you with...
"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."
"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."
"Nobody will ever know the strength of my love for you, after all you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
"Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of love."
Okay, that's all. Me and baby boy are well. I hope all of you are too!
Love & Merry Christmas!!